Today, I invite you to share in a soulful journey – one that transcends keywords, other SEO rules, comments, and views. This is the story of my 12-year friendship with Zina, a cat who touched my heart in ways I never imagined. Through life’s ups and downs, Zina remained my steadfast animal companion and confidante, teaching me profound lessons about love, loyalty, and the enduring spirit of animals. She was my animal-child.

Nurturing a Fateful Bond

In 2011, fate led me to Zina, a helpless kitten left to perish in a garbage dump in Bucharest, Romania. Alongside her two sisters, she clung to life. All three of them were only some hours old, still having their umbilical cords attached to their tiny bellies. Their mother had probably no chance to say “goodbye” to her babies before a human decided that the little ones don’t deserve the chance to a life.

Without hesitation, I took them under my wing, assuming the role of a mother cat. I fed them with baby cat formula every two hours and taught them how to eat more solid food, use a litter box, play, and hunt. Those early days were filled with tender moments that I still cherish in my heart.

But today’s story is about Zina.

And, right from the beginning, it was clear that she had a special place in my heart. Zina’s affectionate nature made her a true “mama’s girl”. Whether it was feeding time, playtime, or moments of quiet companionship, she would always suck on my fingers. She kept this habit until her last days. It was her way of showing me love and affection, seeking comfort and reassurance at the same time.

An Unwavering Friendship

As Zina grew, our bond deepened. The friendship and the love grew between us with every single moment spent together and, I must confess, there were tough moments during these 12 years when Zina was the only soul who kept me company, showed me understanding, and offered unconditional love.

We went through many life challenges together – we changed houses, we changed countries, and we even drove 2000 kilometers together to reach our new home in Germany.

She was always by my side – whether I was happy, excited, sad, or feeling empty inside. Regardless of my emotional state, she wanted to share it with me. She would come for a cuddle, curling up in my arms and sucking on my fingers. How could I not smile while looking into her deep blue eyes?

A Precious Bond in Times of Need

However, Zina’s life was marked by allergies. My cat was allergic to many things, including human skin. This meant that every touch and gesture of love I showed her could make her feel sick, rather than just loved. Her delicate condition demanded careful handling. I had to be mindful of how much I let her interact with my skin. 

When I got pregnant with my boy, who is 5 now, she sensed the change and never left my side. She always wanted to sit on my belly, perhaps listening to my baby’s heartbeats. Maybe he could feel her presence too. After my son’s birth, she embraced her role as his guardian and friend, and she was taking care of him almost like a second mother. They slept together, played together, and shared every joy. And our home was filled with joy and warmth, thanks to Zina’s nurturing presence.

Grieving the Loss of a Dear Companion

In the last few days, Zina became very sick. She grew silent – no more meows, no more asking for food, and no strength to jump on the couch or come for a cuddle. I held her close, whispering reassurances, and telling her how much she was loved.

On Friday, July 28th, I lost Zina. I lost my companion and my animal-child. It all happened in just a few hours. I spent those hours crying and continuously speaking to her, telling Zina that everything would be okay, that she didn’t have to fight it if she felt that her time had come.

Every time I said, “I love you so much,” she made an effort to respond to me. I knew she loved me very much. I could feel her deep love throughout all these passing years. I can still feel her love.

The loss of my cherished animal companion left an emptiness that words cannot describe.

The Quest for Healing

I wish I could share a magic spell with you to ease the pain or offer tips and tricks on saying goodbye to a loved one without breaking your heart. Maybe something like what you can find nowadays on the internet: “Best 10 Ways To Heal After Losing a Dear One”, “5 Tips On How To Deal With Your Pain”, or “Fast Ways To Heal Your Broken Heart”. However, such magic formulas elude me. I don’t know of any. Do you?

All I know is that it hurts to lose a big part of yourself – to feel alone, and left behind, and to know that there’s no tomorrow anymore for Zina and myself. It hurts to know that I’ll never hear her loving purr again, her warm sucking of my fingers, or feel her soft body cuddling close to my chest while I sleep.

Embracing a Heartfelt Legacy

But you know what hurts the most? Even though she’s no longer here, I can still feel her. I had grown so accustomed to her presence around me. I stand up from my chair, and I hear her meow, greeting my movement, and instinctively, I look around to see where she is so I don’t hurt her while pushing the chair. I expect her to follow me, so I’m careful when opening and closing doors, waiting a bit so she can go first. She was old and not so fast anymore, but she followed me everywhere around the house. She was always where I was. No matter what I did, she was there – my faithful companion.

An Enduring Impact on More Than One Heart

However, Zina wasn’t just MY companion. She was my son’s companion too. And he’s not even home right now; he’s on holiday with his father. When he comes back, there will be no Zina to greet him at the door and show him with her love that she missed him. He will never have the chance to hold her one more time in his small arms and kiss her – to kiss her goodbye, the way I had the chance to do.

Zina isn’t my first animal companion to lose in this lifetime, but it never gets easier, no matter how many times you have to go through something like this.

I was around my son’s age when I lost an animal companion for the first time. I remember the pain, the hurt, and the rebellion against Death. Now, I’m an adult, almost 40, but my heart feels the exact same feelings I felt as a little girl confronting Death and its meaning. 

How does one heal from this kind of pain? In all these years, I couldn’t find the answer to this question. I’ve only learned how to live with this emptiness inside. And the hole in my heart became bigger with every animal companion I lost during my life.

Honoring a Cherished Memory

Yet, my heart is still big enough to welcome another animal companion into my life. I know that taking under my care another kitten in search of a home would honor Zina’s memory and enrich our lives. 

So, I found in a private shelter a kitten in need of love. I named her Xena. The name somehow echoes Zina, isn’t it? Every time I call for Xena, I also call for and remember Zina – our friendship, our companionship, and the love that united us. A love that is bigger than Death itself…

Though I lost Zina physically, her spirit lives on in my heart. Memories of her warm purrs, her soft embrace, and the feeling of her tiny paws leave an unforgettable mark in my heart.

An Eternal Connection

The journey with Zina has taught me that the soul transcends physical boundaries. I believe that her energy remains a part of my life, forever intertwining with my thoughts and dreams. This enduring connection has inspired me to share this story, hoping that it resonates with others who have experienced the profound bond between humans and their animal companions.

As I continue life’s journey, I cherish the memories of Zina – my loyal friend and embrace the love she showed me and the lessons I learned from her. Our story is one of love, loss, and hope, reminding me that the connections we form with our beloved animals are timeless and everlasting.

This is Zina’s story. Our story. And writing about it is my way of healing. May this tale inspire others to treasure their bonds with their furry companions, knowing that love transcends time, space, and death.

Păpușică frumușică, until we meet again in this lifetime or the next one, my dear Zina!